Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'm Tired But It's OK

So, back from a week's vacation in SC with my family. Those of you with whom I'm friends on Facebook have probably seen some of the pictures. I love that week with my family since I don't get to be a part of their daily lives and miss them a lot. M loves it too because she gets to spend time with her Family. Funny, even at 3 1/2, the concept of family isn't lost on her. She loves that she has grandparents, an aunt and uncle, and cousins. She was totally at ease with everyone and really seemed to enjoy herself.

Now back to life as usual, but not quite...my dates with CP (CVS girl) and RN (the woman from the arcade at the beach) happened the week before last. CP is very funny and cute and I had a good time with her. Some cultural difference might make it tough though. She's from Taiwan and while she's been in the States for many years, her family is over there and a lot of the pop culture references I talked about she didn't get. She's a bit older than I thought (31), which is a good thing. Funny thing though, is that I'm actually closer to her mother's age (50) than her age. Doh! We got a good laugh out of that. She's in Turkey for a friend's wedding so I won't be able to see her for a bit...however...

RN and I went out two nights later and had such a great time, we went out again the next night! We spoke and texted continuously during the week I was at the beach and got together again last night and stayed out until 1 AM. For those of you who don't know me, I'm in bed by 10 regardless of who I'm with so this is huge for me. And again, we had such a good time that we're going to see each other again tonight. She's so sweet, very affectionate, has a beautiful smile and giant blue eyes. Total melters for me. And as I said before, she doesn't seem "complicated" by all the money, status, or other distractions of the city. She never even asked me what I did for a living until the 4th or 5th time we talked. That's usually one of the first questions you get in NYC. I mean this in the best way possible, but so far she seems like a very simple family girl. I LOVE that. She's a "good girl" as well in that no rushing into the physical. While one part of me (down below) would LOVE to do that, it never seems to work out. I'm happy she has the smarts (or self control) to take that part slow since I DON'T :)

So it looks like I'll be tired again tomorrow. Oh well. Looks like serious potential with this one. For that, I'll gladly miss out on a few hours of sleep.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

'Nuf Said...

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm On a Roll

My luck with the ladies away from the Internet dating thing is looking up! Now, I've had enough of these positive times (WAY in the past) to know that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. Still, ride the way while you're up, right?
CP (the CVS girl) and I have yet to get together. We keep trying but with her work schedule and my schedule with Miss M, it's tough. Still, we're working on it and hopefully will happen later this week.

Last Wed, Thurs, and Friday I took off from work so that M and I could go to the beach with a buddy and his son Gabriel. Gabriel is Miss M's "boyfriend" (she's started early). They live in our building and most weeknights when M is there we get the kids together for a post dinner play date. Have to admit, that's another advantage of the big city...play dates without even leaving the house. G's parents are still together and have a 1 year old daughter as well who's cute as a button.

Anyhow, Brian, G, M, and I went to the beach house they have for a couple days just to goof off and let the kids have some time together. As we drove down on Wednesday though, it was pouring rain, so we were a bit perplexed as to what to do. Just going to the house could be ok, but we figured since it was mid week, maybe a trip to the arcade might be fun. Simple stuff like ski ball, the claw grabber things (to pick up the stuffed animals), and other easy games. I have a strange talent for the claw grabber things...not sure why but I ALWAYS win at least a couple of times (this time...6 stuffed animals in less than an hour). So M was really excited and shrieking with joy at her new toys.

The place was pretty empty except for one group of people who seemed to be grandparents, a dad and mom with son, and what appeared to be a very attractive single mom and her daughter. The SM was playing one of the claw grabby games with her little girl when M ran up the machine next to them. I walked up next to them and looked...BEAUTIFUL. Not just pretty but totally stunning, and NO ring. Sweet!
I started playing the game as they watched and of course M started talking to the little girl. Love that about 3 year olds. Don't even remember what I said but we exchanged a couple words and as it turns out, SM is painfully shy! It was cute though. Anyhow, I tried a couple times for a Big Bird animal that I couldn't quite get and during which time SM and the girl went to play another game. Her parents were next to us watching the whole time though, and chatted with M a bit. M and I then went to another machine and proceeded to win a purple stuffed bear when SM came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "here, my dad won this and we thought your daughter would like to have it." It was the Big Bird! I thanked her profusely and again tried to strike up conversation but she seemed very nervous and scooted away with her little girl.

A couple minutes later I saw her Dad so I thanked him and he smirked and said "Dude, I was trying for you." He was TOTALLY trying to set me up with his daughter!!! How funny is that? At this point I figured screw it, I need to talk to her so we just played games in her proximity until I got the chance to corner her. Once she got talking she was very sweet. Turns out she lives just outside Manhattan (only about 20 minutes away). We exchanged numbers and have talked 3 times since and our first date is planned for this Thursday.

No idea where this one is going of course but this woman seems to be totally my type...sweet, not cocky, not affected by New York (huge problem in Manhattan), very into her family who live only 20 minutes from her, and is a nurse (practically every woman in my family is a nurse so I have a soft spot for them. She's in her mid thirties, which is a bit more age appropriate than CP, and as it turns the little girl she was with is her niece, so no kids. Neither here nor there I guess.
I would say luck of the Irish except I'm full Italian. Anyhow, I'm liking the non-Internet dating thing and having fun talking to relative strangers. We'll keep you posted on this one as well.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

You Can Get More Than Prescriptions at CVS

So, part two of week one of BCD's dating exploits. After my date with Russian Girl, I decided to walk home (about 30 blocks). It was about midnight and I was still pretty awake. As I walked by a CVS, I remembered I needed to pick up a few things. Here's the benefit of living in the city that never sleeps...CVS is 24/7.

As I'm wandering around the store picking up various things, I turn the corner and see a beautiful pair of legs attached to a very pretty brunette (see, I like non blonds ;). She turned to look at something so I got a clear view of what is a very pretty face, although a bit on the young side for an old guy like me...probably mid to late 20's. The opportunity just didn't seem right for me to say anything then because we hadn't even made eye contact. What am I going to say..."hey baby, like that conditioner?" I was feeling pretty bold though, so while I picked up my items I kept an eye on where she was in the store.

Eventually I was done and noticed she was just making her way to the check out. I had two options...1) the empty check out next to hers or 2) I could plant myself in line right behind her. I chose option two. Now, why she was in CVS buying a bunch of Vitamin Water and Gatorade at midnight on a Friday I have NO idea, but it certainly struck me as funny. As the check out girl was doing her job, she needed some help grabbing Cutie Pie's things (that's what we're going to call her for now, or CP for short). I ever so GRACIOUSLY reached out and pushed them toward check out girl. CP shyly looked at me and said thanks. Feeling smarmy, I simply smiled and replied " You're welcome. You must be thirsty." THAT'S IT. She giggled and we exchanged a couple sentences about nothing I remember, and then...SHE LEFT.

Grrr...I waited for check out girl to finish, (to her credit she was quick. She TOTALLY knew what was going on) and I thought "F this, I want to talk to her." So I ran out of the store and chased CP down, who was by now a block away, going in completely the OPPOSITE direction that I needed to be going. When I caught up to her, I simply said "Excuse me, you seemed really nice back there and I have to confess, I planted myself behind you in line because I saw you in the store and think you're very pretty. Have a minute to talk to a complete stranger on the street?" She blushed and was very cute about it.

We talked for a couple blocks and as we got toward where she was going, I asked for her number to see if we could meet for a drink later. She then said something that I thought was very cool, "Well," she said with a smirk on her face, "I have one block before I'm at my building. Convince me before I hit my door that I should go out with you"

NICE!!! It may sound cocky but to me, that meant I was practically in and just needed to not fumble. I don't recall what I said but the crux of it was...I'm not from NYC, I'm a well mannered Southern Boy. No big ego, good manners, and I'll always open doors and pull out your chair for you. She LOVED it.

I've since called and we've exchanged some very cute texts. Problem is I have a busy week so I can't meet her until next week. Regardless though, I'm just proud of making the effort and having the courage for the cold walk up. Haven't done that in YEARS.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Monday, June 7, 2010

And the Internet Dating Begins...

Not my favorite way to get back on the market for sure, but I figured this will at least get me out there and give me a chance to practice some of the small talk. If you remember, I went right from Ex wife to Hot Girl, who I knew from a previous job. I haven't had a "cold" date in something like 9 years! Scary when I think about it.

So, I signed up for a couple of free sites, put up the minimum profile, and started fishing. There are always thousands of pretty, accomplished, seemingly nice women on these sites. Problem is, there are always WAY more men than women so the hit ratio for guys is pretty low. After a week or so I was talking to a few different women (after a ton of unanswered emails) and lined up a couple dates for this weekend.

Let me say first, that I don't live in fantasy land. I'm 42 with a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I fully realize that the 26 year old lingerie models aren't going to be beating down my door, or even worth my time writing. Of course, like any bonehead guy, I'll lob an occasional email to one of those but it never works out. So, given that ideally I want more kids of my own, I figured early to mid 30's (with or without kids already) is probably my best bet. I also prefer divorced vs never married. Sure I could be totally wrong but at least I know then that she has tried it once.

Now, usually a 2 date weekend isn't in the cards for me. I have a good group of buddies, some single some not, that I hang with on Fridays. Something easy like grabbing a bite, catching a movie or sporting event, or just hanging out. Problem this weekend was that ALL of them were out of town. So I lined up a date Friday night and another for brunch on Saturday.

Friday night was Russian Girl. She's 38, divorced, and a nurse. All good things right. No kids though. She was nice enough on the phone, was attractive, and seemed eager to meet. Of course, when she showed up she was probably 30 lbs heavier than her picture. Not that I'm against a little meat on the bones...I prefer that to a stick skinny woman, but why not just be honest? So I was already skeptical. During dinner she proceeded to talk about her bad divorce, bad last relationship, and her friend who is divorced with three kids who never dates because the kids rule her life. That woman sounds like more my type. She then proceeded to ask me where I was taking her on vacation...HUH? I didn't talk much except about Miss M, and once RG realized that I wasn't one of those Wednesday and every other weekend Dad's who has a ton of time to date, she said a very insightful thing: " You're going to have a hard time finding a woman who's willing to play second to your daughter and to work around your schedule. You should date single mom's since they'll understand better and be more flexible." Couldn't agree more. So, overall the date kind of sucked but at least she was up front about what she did and didn't want (picture thing aside) and we parted ways nicely, agreeing we'd never see each other again.

Date #2: Beautiful Latina woman from Westchester...32, never married, no kids. Had a bad feeling on this one right out of the gate but figured it's just brunch so no big deal. I had a lot to do that morning so I was running a couple minutes late. Probably should have called but figured I was only a few blocks away, people in Manhattan are ALWAYS late, and it was only 3 minutes, literally. I'm a block away and for some reason checked my phone and saw 3 missed calls from BL. Not checking them I called her right away. She picked up and angrily said "Are you standing me up?" HUH? I replied calmly no, that I was a running a bit late, apologized, said it was only 1:04 now, we were supposed to meet at 1:00, and I was 30 seconds away. "Well, I left." she says in a huff. Too weird. Figured she was only a block or two away so I told her to come on back and we'll start over. Ok she says.

I then waited 25 minutes and she never showed, so I went home. Thirty minutes later she calls me again. I didn't pick up and checked the message afterward. She actually went back to the restaurant after I left, got angry that I stood her up a second time, and left me a scathing message to never call her again!!! Don't think that will be a problem.

Geez, this is what I have to look forward to? There's gotta be a better way.

Weekend success was, however, that I randomly met a very cute woman (in CVS no less) after my date Friday night. TOTAL cold pick up which I NEVER do. For that story though, you'll have to log in tomorrow... :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Hi Everyone

Wow has it been a long time. Sorry for the no show, but I was feeling really unmotivated to write and stretched a bit thin by work, M, the relationship with HG, and searching for a new apartment. Guess I just needed a mental break from it all. Kind of going into the Man Cave to shut down and regroup.

So, I figured it best to give you some bullet points on where things are with M and me so that everyone is up to date.

M (the most important subject) - She's doing fantastic. Her vocabulary is expanding by the day and her curiosity about the differences between men and women continues to grow. The other day she decided she wanted a penis. So in the middle of our crowded lobby she asked "Daddy, can we go the penis store and buy one? I want a penis." The old ladies in the lobby didn't seem amused. TOO BAD. We have tons of summer plans including the beach with friends, beach with family, Disney World in July, and some trips to the mountains. Should be a fun summer but I'm sure it's going to fly by.

M's Mother - We may have finally hit the amiable state. While finances will always be somewhat of an issue, she's actually been a bit forgiving there lately and we haven't had a serious fight in weeks. We've been able to pull of a couple switches in nights without a problem and haven't taken any pot shots at each other. While I'm going to have a hard time every really trusting her, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this to continue. It can only be good for M.

Hot Girl and I Are No Longer - BCD is back on the market. HG and I were communicating a lot better and getting along but ultimately the problems I talked about earlier were just too great to overcome. While in theory she was OK living the life of a "normal" person, ultimately she wasn't comfortable with anything but a high end lifestyle, which is not how I want to be or to raise M. To me, having money is a good thing (of course) but choosing to buy or do expensive things just because they are "exclusive" or expensive just doesn't fit my value system. The split was amicable though. Now the trick is to find a woman in NYC whose value system fits this. Seems easy right? You have no idea how hard that is here. NYC really F's people up. Wish me luck. Going to try the online thing to start but ultimately I think through friends is the way to go.

New Apartment - I struggled with this one because I don't want to stretch myself financially, but given some of the concessions M's mother has made, my alimony payments are done (WAHOO!!!), and that M is outgrowing her tiny little room (only 8 x 8), I wanted to find a place bigger where she can have her own space. After and exhaustive search and several "just missed" opportunities, we settled on a place just two blocks away. You have no idea how competitive the rental market in NYC is. You have to practically show up with your entire financial picture and check in hand and take a place as soon as you see it if you like it because if you don't, the next person will. We're spending a little more than I want but to keep M in the same neighborhood, to give her a nice big room, and honestly being too tired to keep looking, I'm cool with what we found. Moving sometime in July.

So kiddies, those are the highlights. I'll try to be more regular both with checking up on everyone else as well as my own posting. As This Daddy said after my last hiatus, I have a duty to keep everyone informed. Enjoy the day everyone!