School Daze?

Miss M turns 4 this coming October.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the New York school system, that means that if we want to send her to private prekindergarten, we should have completed and submitted applications sometime back in 2004. Seriously?

Every city has its competitive parents and school snobs but NYC has to be in a complete other universe for this kind of stuff. VERY few public schools in Manhattan are places you'd send your child if you could avoid it. When Ex and I split, I moved into a neighborhood that actually has a very good public school and we agreed to send M there. Of course, the rents in that neighborhood are 25% higher than non-good school 'hoods. They get you one way or another.

Here's the trick though: pre-k (4 year old kindergarten) is NOT mandatory in the state of NY. Kindergarten for that matter either. That means the schools don't have to offer it. The school is our 'hood does, but only has a certain number of slots, thus you have to apply and cross your fingers. Because siblings of kids already attending the school have first priority, Miss M has about as good a chance of getting in as I do of winning the Powerball. In normal economic conditions this wouldn't have been a problem, but because a lot of people have lost their jobs and pulled their kids out of private school, public schools are ridiculously overcrowded.

Ex and I now have to find a back up plan, which means applying to private schools which have already closed their application process. Luckily, the overcrowding of public schools means there are private spots, but of course, that comes at a price. The least expensive private school we can find is about $7000 a year. The most expensive (you can bet Ex wants us to apply there but no chance I will do that) is $27,000! For a four year old!!! Can you say ridiculously stupid! The name of the school says it all: The Towne School. That extra "e" has to be good for at least $10,000.

Here's what I don't understand: how can the education be THAT much better at 4 years old? I went to private school up until high school and was somewhat ahead of the other kids by the time I got to the 9th grade, so I get it to a point, but $27,000? And it gets up into the $40,000's as the kids get older. Manhattan is another planet.

So, Ex and I get so spend A LOT of time together. FUN, FUN! We're getting along marginally better these days, mainly because we've had minimal contact but that's about to change. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm going to have to meditate on patience and tolerance a lot, both for dealing with Ex and the snotty private school people.

I'm Getting Married to the Perfect Woman

I found her.

The woman of my dreams.

I was searching the web for my dream girl and there she was.

Delectable, taunting me with her very presence.

She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I know what you'll all say:

• You're still early out of divorce
• You don't know her AT ALL
• What's the rush?
• Shouldn't you at least go on one date with her?

But I say...DON'T try and talk me out of it.

I know it's quick but when you know, you know.

I love her.

She's sexy, provocative, has a FANTASTIC sense of style, and so incredibly intelligent and intuitive that she knows EXACTLY what a man wants...





BOOBS AND BACON!





Beautiful isn't she?



Have a great weekend everyone. Go Saints!!!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!!

So I'm proud to say that I received my first Blog Award yesterday!!! My buddy Scott over at This Daddy's Blog graced me with the Beautiful Blogger Award. As the fine print requires, THANK YOU SCOTT. I am honored, especially to be called "beautiful" by a hetero dude. That is a man comfortable with his sexuality. If you haven't checked out Scott's blog, I'd encourage you to. While we've never met in person or talked through more than blogging, he's a guy who's perspective on family I totally identify with. TOTALLY devoted to his wife and four kids, fully able to admit when he's wrong, and funny to boot. Great job Scott. Keep it up.

So, here's the fine print on my award:

Thank the person who nominated you for this award and insert a link to their blog. DONE

1. Pass on the award to about 15 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are great! That will be an ongoing process. My plan is to give out awards once or twice a week until I've fulfilled my commitment.
2. Contact the other bloggers and let them know they have been chosen for this award
3. Say 7 things about yourself. SWEET! My favorite topic...ME!

So, let's see what I can say about myself that's fun and interesting:

1. I drink more coffee daily than any person should consume in a month. Mostly espresso. Strangely, I have no problems sleeping;
2. I couldn't name a song in the top 100 across any kind of music at any point in the last 5 years. Just no interest whatsoever;
3. For a big city finance guy, I'm kind of an anomaly. I'm mostly a liberal Democrat, especially on social issues.
4. All things considered, I'd be more comfortable living in a cabin in the woods, wearing cowboy boots, and driving a pick up truck than living in Manhattan;
5. I grew up playing soccer and actually trialed with Liverpool in England when I was 17. At the time, drinking beer and chasing skirt was WAY more important so obviously that didn't go so well. I did have fun though. Still, it's simultaneously one of my proudest accomplishments and biggest regrets;
6. I just ate an entire Toblerone. Damn those things are good! ;
7. My little Miss M is the absolute love of my life and even though my life isn't what I pictured, it's perfect because I have her. I wouldn't trade my time with her for anything.

So kids, there's some of me in a nutshell (literally). Have a great day!

Weird but True

Lacking any single Daddy news today, so I thought I'd keep in light.

Here are a few excerpts involving bad parenting or relationship disasters from The New York Post over the last few weeks. Makes me grateful for my life. As they say, it could always be worse. Some of these are truly scary.

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Talk about criminal child abuse!
A Tennessee woman was busted after getting her 11-year-old son to commit armed robbery at the financial-services office where she once worked.
As Angela Evans waited in the getaway car, her son walked in with a stocking mask over his face, held a gun to a woman's head and took $80.
Evans gave him $20 as his cut of the proceeds.

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Divorce doesn't apply only to people.
Keepers at a wildfowl sanctuary in southern England have recorded only the second "swan divorce" in 40 years.
Bewick's swans are famous for mating for life. But Sarandi, a male bird, returned from his annual migration to Russia with a new partner, leading officials to fear that his girlfriend of two years, Saruni, hadn't survived.
But then she showed up with a new boyfriend.
Now all four birds are swimming around the same lake, carefully ignoring one another.

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In most places, they'd just call this gold-digging.
New Hampshire cops arrested a man and woman after the man called to complain that he'd paid the woman for sex but she refused to go through with it.
Both the 22-year-old woman and 32-year-old man were hit with charges related to prostitution.

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She caught him sleeping for eternity with another woman.
A widow in St. Petersburg, Fla., is suing a cemetery after she went to visit her husband's grave adjoining her own plot and found another occupant with him.
Lucille Rembert said she started to cry. "I said, 'Oh no, not again,' " she told The St. Petersburg Times.
The same thing happened in 1995.

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It was love that moved him -- and his livestock.
Dick Kleis, a farmer in Zwingle, Iowa, used more than 120,000 pounds of manure to spell out a special message to his wife, Carole: "Happy birthday. I love you."
For anyone with a large field and a desire to create a similarly sentimental greeting, he has this advice: "Any manure will work. But the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff works the best."

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This is what divorce "This Old House"-style looks like.
A woman in Washington state whose husband was leaving her got back at him by allegedly rewiring his power tools to deliver a powerful electric shock when he used them.
She was arrested after he was knocked to the ground while using a 220-volt table saw.

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Think your family's bad?
A Sicilian man went to a police station to ask that he be arrested -- because he didn't want to spend New Years Eve with relatives. Cops declined, because he hadn't committed a crime.
So he went to a nearby store and stole some candy and chewing gum. This time, he got his wish.

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It's not the starch that makes these sheets stiff.
A Spanish inventor has infused bedsheets with Viagra so randy rompers can absorb the sex-enhancing drug through their skin rather than popping a pill.
"It started as a joke after we saw a study that said businessmen get little sex because they are too tired from work," said sheet maker Pep Torres.

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The Rest of the World

Some days in New York are very exciting. Traffic is jammed, there's some kind of dignitary visiting, a worldwide protest of something is going on at the U.N., or there's a huge sporting event. It's what makes living in the city fun, interesting, and sometimes overwhelming.

I grew up in a suburb in South Carolina. Not much went on there and I was really anxious to get out and explore the world. Since then, I haven't exactly done a world tour, but I've lived in or near several big cities: Atlanta, Philadelphia, Baltimore, DC, and of course, New York. Each has its own unique charm and benefits, as well as drawbacks. As a father, I recall always wanting to raise a family close to a large city for the cultural benefits as well as the world prospective it would provide my children. Granted, New York is a lot bigger, faster, and more expensive than anywhere I would have chosen to settle down, but it is home and I'm feeling mostly comfortable now.

I guess I'm thinking of this because of the recent Facebook contact I've had with old high school friends. A few of them, like me, got out and explored the world not turn. A few left for a while but returned to raise families. Most stayed and haven't lived anywhere else. While that's a nice thing for them (erg. stability, roots in the same place, predictability, etc.) I find it somewhat limiting in scope. As I've talked to some of them, they are amazed at things that I now take for granted: living in a high rise apartment building; not owning or needing a car; the sheer volume of people; or the ethnic diversity.

I want my little one to grow up with a "world view," primarily because when I got to college, I realized how small the world had been for me the 18 years prior. Most of the kids I went to college with were from the DC area. They knew a ton about politics, economics, different cultures, and the arts. I felt really behind. Miss M, growing up in NYC, obviously isn't going tho have that problem, but she will be missing out on how most of the rest of the country lives.

NYC is so unique in it's every day experience and I've noticed people who grow up here (Manhattan specifically) are just a bit "off." They're almost afraid of the rest of the country. Seems strange right? That's not how I want Miss M to be. I've been doing my best to show her "Normal America" by visiting my parents and sister in SC but there has to be more.

I think attitudes and values start at home. There are a plethora of things to do here with my little one and exposing her to all of it I feel is really important. I want her to be a well rounded person who feels comfortable in any situation, in any place. Traveling to other places, experiencing other people and cultures, and teaching acceptance of those "different" seems the way to go.

So parents, how do you teach your little ones about the rest of the world, especially on a limited single parent budget? How do we show our kids the world, teach them about others different than them, and make sure they are well rounded enough to make informed decisions about their own path in life? My question for the day...

Ten Movie Quotes To Get You Through Life

I love movies. Practially not one weekend away from Miss M goes by when I don't see at least one. Virtually every decent movie I see has a great quote or two that makes me think "I should remember that!" Today, while surfing through the endless list of websites I read daily while effin' around on my job, I ran across a list that I really like by Scott Tunstall at FlickSided.com. Take a look and if you have some memerable quotes of your own, let's hear them!

10 – “Pain don’t hurt.”

Delivered by: Professional bouncer James Dalton in Road House.
Why it matters: We learn at an early age that a lot of stuff will cause us pain. It sucks, but it’s inevitable. Using Dalton’s Zen-like philosophy, we can disconnect the pain thus rendering it powerless. Works great when you slam your finger in the car door.

9 – “You dick!”

Delivered by: Surfer dude Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Why it matters: We will meet plenty of assholes and morons in our lifetime. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade and tell these purveyors of douchebaggery what you think of them. It might lead to a confrontation, but it beats being a doormat.

8 – “Look eye, always look eye.”

Delivered by: Martial arts master Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid.
Why it matters: You’ll get a lot further down life’s path if you look people in the eye. Don’t give them a reason to think you’re hiding something or that you’re not trustworthy. Show no fear. Stare them down like a professional fighter, minus the psychotic snarl.

7 – “I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”

Delivered by: Dimwitted sage Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump.
Why it matters: You don’t have to be a genius to feel love. However, you do have to be mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with its crushing effects. Heartache and rejection will befall each and every one of us. Don’t let it defeat you. Be like Gump.

6 – “Stay frosty.”

Delivered by: Badass Colonial Marine Corporal Dwight Hicks in Aliens.
Why it matters: The worst thing you can do when you’re in a tight spot is panic and lose your water. Keep a level head no matter the predicament. Unless it has to do with man-eating aliens with acid for blood. Then you can freak out and run for the hills.

5 – “Deserve’s got nuthin’ to do with it.”

Delivered by: Cold-blooded outlaw William Munny in Unforgiven.
Why it matters: Bad shit happens to everyone for no rhyme or reason. You could be the world’s greatest humanitarian or the world’s biggest villain. Don’t look for the “why.” You won’t find it. It’s a cruel fact of life that none of us are immune to tragedy.

4 – “I have a lot of problems… but they belong to me.”

Delivered by: Dysfunctional recluse Graham Dalton in Sex, Lies and Videotape.
Why it matters: I don’t know anyone that isn’t effed up a little bit. It doesn’t mean they should be fitted for a straitjacket. Got minor hangups? It’s normal. Got serious hangups? Might be a good idea to talk to someone. Locking yourself inside a self-imposed prison isn’t very healthy.

3 – “Never tell me the odds.”

Delivered by: Clever space smuggler Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back.
Why it matters: I used to gamble back in the day. Knowing the odds was critical. That being said, on occasion I picked instinct over logic and it paid off huge. Life is all about taking the plunge. Sitting back and playing it safe is for party poopers. Sometimes you gotta close your eyes and roll the dice.

2 – “I’m too old for this shit.”

Delivered by : Grizzled police Sergeant Roger Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon.
Why it matters: Getting old blows. Trust me when I say that a night of nonstop barhopping is much tougher to recover from at 35 than at 25. If you’re not a youngster anymore, stop pretending to be one. You’ll end up looking like what you are — an old fool.

1 – “Time to die.”

Delivered by: Ruthless Replicant Roy Batty in Blade Runner.
Why it matters: No one gets out alive. The sooner we come to terms with that little nugget, the easier it will be to enjoy the time we are allotted. Roy Batty wanted more. Once he learned that wasn’t possible, he graciously accepted his fate and said goodbye.

Single Parent Vacation Ideas?

So, now a year and a half into divorce, being a single parent on a day to day basis seems normal, especially since my ex spent very little time parenting my daughter with me while we were married. Miss M is getting old enough for us to do more activities together and now that she is potty trained and can communicate, extended periods away from home are less work and more fun.


My custody agreement allows for two weeks vacation away each year for each parent. With some flexibility, I'm sure Ex and I will get to a place (some day) where another week or so won't be a problem. Now the problem is, just what to do? Especially since I'm now allowed six (yes 6!) weeks of vacation from my job.


Last year during the summer, I took Miss M to the beach in South Carolina (where my family is and where I grew up). We rented a huge house and my parents as well as my sister and her 3 kids and husband came. That was fun and we'll probably do that again. My Dad loved it most of all. Miss M is his only "birth grand daughter". I have a step niece who is wonderful but she's 19 and we got her when she was older (7) so he didn't get to go through the baby stage with her. It's so fun to watch them together.


Custody agreement is really good for me time wise. When I have Miss M for the weekend, I have her from Wednesday morning until Sunday night, so long weekends are always easy. Trips to my parents, long weekends at the beach, or even "city weekends" are fun.


What about the other week or two I can go on vacation though? I'm at a loss so I thought I'd ask my single parent friends. What do you do with your kids? Keep in mind Miss M is just over 3, so it can't be too crazy, but she is a pretty active little girl. I'd love to take her on a trip that provides great activities for her, isn't crazy expensive, and can be fun for Daddy too.

Fire away kids, let me know your ideas. Oh yeah, and as BLW mentioned yesterday in my post about The Dilemma, with the exeption of Dave over at Dad's House, no dude comments? Come on fellas!!! A little help here? Maybe I don't have any dude readers. What's that about?