Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today's Beautiful Blogger Awards Go To...

So, after being gifted with the Beautiful Blogger Award by Scott at This Daddy's Blog, I revealed seven things about myself that you all didn't know. The next step is to bestow this award to some of our cyber friends. Here are a few newer ones I've stumbled on that I really like:

  1. Brittney at Unexpected Surprises - She amazes me as a young 20's single Mommy doing this whole thing by herself. Her ability to stay true to her ideals and trust in God I find incredibly inspiring.

  2. Swati at The Single Mother Chronicles - Incredibly insightful, smart, and always positive, she always gives me something to think about and includes touching stories about her little girl.

  3. That One Mom at Only Parent Chronicles - She is a widowed mother of two who has some really funny and touching things to say. If you haven't read it, her post 100 Random Questions Answered By Me... do, it is really great.

  4. The Divorced Guy at The Diary of a Divorced Guy - Dude, all I can say is I totally relate

  5. That Darn Girl at, well, That Darn Girl - A witty, smart, and definitely sexy nurse who also gives us the occasional boob shot. THANK YOU.

  6. Sarah at That's What She Said! - She's a worker at a juvenile detention center in the Midwest. Proof that not all of us are in it for the buck.

  7. The Girl Next Door at Next Door 2 My Ex - Because, just from the title she deserves an award!!! You've GOT to be kidding!

  8. Lauren at My Life, Incomplete - She's a leader in the Single Parent CyberWorld who provides great advice and support for us all.

  9. MaddisMomma at Little Miss Maddie Moo - Moo is a such a cutie pie! Right in the middle of the custody/visitation battle (still), MaddisMomma really reminds me of how hard that process was and how to handle it with grace.

  10. Mon at Holistic Mama - She does it the natural way. For a guy living in the Big City, I find that completely fascinating.

So, new awardees, if you choose to accept this, the typical way is to post the above award in your blog, tell us seven things about yourself we don't know, and then bestow this award on 10 new blogs you've stumbled across that you find interesting and worthy of such an honor, and inform them!

Best of luck!

Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm a Sugar Doll! And Ten Things You Don't Know About Me

Well, it looks like I'm a lucky boy again! Our friend D. A. Wolf over at Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy has bestowed on me the

As D.A. describes it, the Sugar Doll is bestowed for delightful and thought-provoking writing. Nice to know my griping has had a positive effect on someone! What started out as a place to vent has turned into so much more.

Nothing comes for free however, Apparently I'm supposed to start a list of Ten Things You Don’t Know About Me, because, after all, aren't we trying to get acquainted? And then I need to find one or more other writers to share the pleasure of receiving the Sugar Doll Award. I'll do that in a post later this week. Mucho research to do!

So, without further to do, here's me in a nutshell. They are different form when Scott over at This Daddy's Blog gifted me with the Beautiful Blogger Award. Thought you kids could use some new material:

  1. I don't drink alcohol at all. Not one drop for many years. Suffice it to say, I had enough to last a lifetime and my life, as well as everyone else's around me, just goes better that way.
  2. My father is the guy in the world I admire the most. Not because he was hugly successful in life, monetarily at least. It's because he's a guy who has always done the right thing by people and his family, regardless of the personal impact. If I'm lucky, I'll be half as good a man. We're best friends and I'm so grateful for that;
  3. I rarely read books, newspapers, etc. but if I do read , it's online. For some reason, reading the printed page puts me to sleep but the computer does not. If I have a lot of work reading to do and I can't get the document online, I many times will do it standing up or pacing around my office. Drives my co-workers crazy;
  4. For a guy who lives in THE most densely populated zip code in the country (10021, look it up) I hate crowds. WTF? Put me in the woods with a lake and no people and I am at peace.
  5. I can drive a fork lift and can weld, seriously. Not bad for a white collar geek. In all honesty, I'd rather be working with my hands;
  6. I never believed in the Easter Bunny...NEVER. How the hell is a little bunny supposed to carry all those baskets around the world in one night, especially since no one said he was magic? And what the hell do bunnies have to do with eggs anyway? Even at 4 I thought this was stupid. An Easter Chicken maybe, if it were magic and could fly super fast, but a bunny? Come on...;
  7. I was engaged prior to Ex, about 11 years ago. V, my then fiance, broke it off 5 months before the wedding. Broke my heart and took YEARS to heal. I still consider her the one that got away.
  8. Accents on women drive me CRAZY in a good way: British, French, Southern, Russian, whatever...just TALK!
  9. My freshman year in college, after much philandering, I was CONVINCED I had a serious STD (yes, sexually transmitted disease). I went to the team physician and showed him my business. He was a very old, crusty country doctor who had been the team physician for all the Virginia Tech athletes for 25 years. He looked at me over the top of his glasses, squenched up his face and said " always wear them tightie whities? Cause you got the worst case of jock itch I ever seen! You gotta let your boy breathe!" To this day, I'm strictly a boxer guy.
  10. When I was four, my Dad took me to K-Mart for Big Boy Day. We'd spend Saturdays looking at the sporting goods and would maybe buy a toy. Afterward, we'd go to Burger King and get burgers. One of my fondest childhood memories. One particular Saturday, I ordered a Whopper Junior because Dad got the Whopper. I felt like such a man. Half way through chewing the first bite I tasted the most disgusting thing I ever had in my mouth. We opened the bun and in it was a half rotten slice of tomato. To this day, I can't eat raw tomatoes. Ketchup, marinara, salsa, yes, but never just a plain sliced tomato. Makes me gag.

Ok kids. Be on the lookout for my list of Sugar Dolls, coming up soon!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Do I Say Something?

That picture has nothing to do with today's topic. Guess guys just like monkeys. We identify, you know?

Last Friday night, Ex and I switched nights. Earlier in the week, she told me that she had a work trip to go on and wouldn't be able to take her usual Friday with Miss M. She asked for the following Thursday (tonight) in exchange for last Friday. No problema I thought: means I get so see Miss M 3 nights in a row (Wed, Thurs, Fri) on a week when I usually wouldn't have her for the weekend and only miss out on a Thursday when I get home from work late anyway.

I had a couple things to switch out though to make it work: I have a standing every other Friday night appointment with my personal therapist. LOVE this guy. He understood and changed the appt for me. Also, since it was Valentines weekend, Hot Girl and I were going to get together Friday night after my appt and spend the weekend together. She understood, as always, and we caught up Saturday around lunch time for the rest of the weekend. The plan was that I drop of Miss M at her mothers at 9 AM Saturday morning.

So, we arrive at Ex's place Ex. I asked the doorman if he had seen her that morning (he starts his shift at 7 AM) and he said no. Strange. I'm just about to call Ex when she comes running in the front door. "Oh, sorry I'm late." Funny thing is, she's wearing jeans, obviously hadn't slept all night (I was with the woman for 6 years, you get to know these things), and she was carrying a sweatshirt that said "xxxxx Athletics" with the xxx standing for the college where Married Guy she's having the affair with went to (same guy she cheated with while we where married). I'm pissed, seriously, but didn't say anything.

She asked if we could come upstairs so that she could give me some paperwork for Miss M's school. We did. I was totally silent except with Miss M. When we got there, M ran into her room and Ex asked, "Is something wrong? You seem tense."


I kept my composure, said nothing was wrong, hugged Miss M, and left.

Here's my issue: switches WILL happen, I get that. I was TOTALLY accommodating on juggling the schedule a few weeks ago when Ex's father died. Why wouldn't I be? Here though, she blatantly lied about a work trip so that she could see Married Guy. Set aside for a minute that he's the guy she cheated with...I juggled my schedule, my therapist's, and Hot Girl's FOR THAT?

Should I say something? I really feel I need to.

Here's the thing: we're getting along really well right now...not buddy buddy, but the private school application thing is going as smooth as I could possibly want. I really don't want to rock that boat. At the same time, she needs to respect my time and tell me the truth when it comes to reasons for switches. She KNOWS that I'll jump at any chance to see M more, but switches involve other people as well, who also deserve respect.

What do you think people? Do I say something and if so, how do I approach it?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My Little Doctor

Hi folks. Sorry I was away for a while. With the long weekend, Valentines Day, and a nasty stomach bug, I've been out of touch with the world for a few days. It started Sunday afternoon after Miss M came over. We played with the flowers Daddy bought her, Skyped my parents so they could see her, and played outside with one of her friends in our building. I was feeling a bit queasy at that point but it didn't get worse until later. (Don't worry, I'll spare you the details).

By the time evening rolled around, I was good and nauseous. If I'm really sick I would have M's mother come get her but this time it felt like a stomach thing that I get every once in a while and it was close to bedtime so I wasn't worried. Normally when my stomach is acting up and have Miss M, I suck it up so she doesn't worry and has a good time. This time, I couldn't play that. We put in one of her favorite movies and I laid on the couch.

"Wassa matter Daddy?" asks very scrunchy concerned face.

"Daddy doesn't feel well honey. His tummy is upset"

"You sick???" face even scrunchier than before

"Yes baby, Daddy is a bit sick but he'll be ok. Let's watch the movie and then we can go to bed"

Very pensive and then "Wait Daddy! I fix you! I get my doctor kit!"

And off she ran to her room to get the kit I bought her to keep her from being scared of the doctor. Needless to say, since she knew it was my tummy, OF COURSE, she poked and prodded it which only made it feel worse, but who am I to spoil her fun, right?

After a very thorough (and painful) exam, my little doctor asked "Daddy, you better???"

"A little honey. You're a very good doctor"

"Thanks Daddy! You take kitty. Make you feel better" and she gave me the stuffed kitty that she carries with her everywhere. I could just melt.

Daddy feels A LOT better. :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Quotable Weekend

A couple weeks ago I posted Ten Movie Quotes To Get You Through Life and it made me think, "Self, what if I do this as an occasional Friday feature? The crap is already written, I just have to find it." So I figured I'd try it today and see how you kids like it. Each week I'll post 10 quotes (movies, writers, speeches, whatever) and readers, if you have one you love, post it as well.

This week we start with an easy one: National Lampoon's Animal House. John Belushi and cast were obnoxious and funny before people were ready for it. They set the bar for juvenile humor going forward. I love this movie.

10. Otter: Ah, she broke our date.
Boon: Washing her hair?
Otter: Dead mother.

9. Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

8. Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

7. Clorette De Pasto: Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.

6. Marion Wormer: You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.

5. Bluto: "Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps."

4. Larry's evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo

3. Katy: Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.
Boon: Is he bigger than me?

2. Babs: Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?

1. Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

School Daze?

Miss M turns 4 this coming October.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the New York school system, that means that if we want to send her to private prekindergarten, we should have completed and submitted applications sometime back in 2004. Seriously?

Every city has its competitive parents and school snobs but NYC has to be in a complete other universe for this kind of stuff. VERY few public schools in Manhattan are places you'd send your child if you could avoid it. When Ex and I split, I moved into a neighborhood that actually has a very good public school and we agreed to send M there. Of course, the rents in that neighborhood are 25% higher than non-good school 'hoods. They get you one way or another.

Here's the trick though: pre-k (4 year old kindergarten) is NOT mandatory in the state of NY. Kindergarten for that matter either. That means the schools don't have to offer it. The school is our 'hood does, but only has a certain number of slots, thus you have to apply and cross your fingers. Because siblings of kids already attending the school have first priority, Miss M has about as good a chance of getting in as I do of winning the Powerball. In normal economic conditions this wouldn't have been a problem, but because a lot of people have lost their jobs and pulled their kids out of private school, public schools are ridiculously overcrowded.

Ex and I now have to find a back up plan, which means applying to private schools which have already closed their application process. Luckily, the overcrowding of public schools means there are private spots, but of course, that comes at a price. The least expensive private school we can find is about $7000 a year. The most expensive (you can bet Ex wants us to apply there but no chance I will do that) is $27,000! For a four year old!!! Can you say ridiculously stupid! The name of the school says it all: The Towne School. That extra "e" has to be good for at least $10,000.

Here's what I don't understand: how can the education be THAT much better at 4 years old? I went to private school up until high school and was somewhat ahead of the other kids by the time I got to the 9th grade, so I get it to a point, but $27,000? And it gets up into the $40,000's as the kids get older. Manhattan is another planet.

So, Ex and I get so spend A LOT of time together. FUN, FUN! We're getting along marginally better these days, mainly because we've had minimal contact but that's about to change. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm going to have to meditate on patience and tolerance a lot, both for dealing with Ex and the snotty private school people.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm Getting Married to the Perfect Woman

I found her.

The woman of my dreams.

I was searching the web for my dream girl and there she was.

Delectable, taunting me with her very presence.

She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I know what you'll all say:
  • You're still early out of divorce
  • You don't know her AT ALL
  • What's the rush?
  • Shouldn't you at least go on one date with her?

But I say...DON'T try and talk me out of it.

I know it's quick but when you know, you know.

I love her.

She's sexy, provocative, has a FANTASTIC sense of style, and so incredibly intelligent and intuitive that she knows EXACTLY what a man wants...


Beautiful isn't she?

Have a great weekend everyone. Go Saints!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!!

So I'm proud to say that I received my first Blog Award yesterday!!! My buddy Scott over at This Daddy's Blog graced me with the Beautiful Blogger Award. As the fine print requires, THANK YOU SCOTT. I am honored, especially to be called "beautiful" by a hetero dude. That is a man comfortable with his sexuality. If you haven't checked out Scott's blog, I'd encourage you to. While we've never met in person or talked through more than blogging, he's a guy who's perspective on family I totally identify with. TOTALLY devoted to his wife and four kids, fully able to admit when he's wrong, and funny to boot. Great job Scott. Keep it up.

So, here's the fine print on my award:

Thank the person who nominated you for this award and insert a link to their blog. DONE
  1. Pass on the award to about 15 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are great! That will be an ongoing process. My plan is to give out awards once or twice a week until I've fulfilled my commitment.
  2. Contact the other bloggers and let them know they have been chosen for this award
  3. Say 7 things about yourself. SWEET! My favorite topic...ME!

So, let's see what I can say about myself that's fun and interesting:

  1. I drink more coffee daily than any person should consume in a month. Mostly espresso. Strangely, I have no problems sleeping;
  2. I couldn't name a song in the top 100 across any kind of music at any point in the last 5 years. Just no interest whatsoever;
  3. For a big city finance guy, I'm kind of an anomaly. I'm mostly a liberal Democrat, especially on social issues.
  4. All things considered, I'd be more comfortable living in a cabin in the woods, wearing cowboy boots, and driving a pick up truck than living in Manhattan;
  5. I grew up playing soccer and actually trialed with Liverpool in England when I was 17. At the time, drinking beer and chasing skirt was WAY more important so obviously that didn't go so well. I did have fun though. Still, it's simultaneously one of my proudest accomplishments and biggest regrets;
  6. I just ate an entire Toblerone. Damn those things are good! ;
  7. My little Miss M is the absolute love of my life and even though my life isn't what I pictured, it's perfect because I have her. I wouldn't trade my time with her for anything.

So kids, there's some of me in a nutshell (literally). Have a great day!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Weird but True

Lacking any single Daddy news today, so I thought I'd keep in light.

Here are a few excerpts involving bad parenting or relationship disasters from The New York Post over the last few weeks. Makes me grateful for my life. As they say, it could always be worse. Some of these are truly scary.


Talk about criminal child abuse!
A Tennessee woman was busted after getting her 11-year-old son to commit armed robbery at the financial-services office where she once worked.
As Angela Evans waited in the getaway car, her son walked in with a stocking mask over his face, held a gun to a woman's head and took $80.
Evans gave him $20 as his cut of the proceeds.


Divorce doesn't apply only to people.
Keepers at a wildfowl sanctuary in southern England have recorded only the second "swan divorce" in 40 years.
Bewick's swans are famous for mating for life. But Sarandi, a male bird, returned from his annual migration to Russia with a new partner, leading officials to fear that his girlfriend of two years, Saruni, hadn't survived.
But then she showed up with a new boyfriend.
Now all four birds are swimming around the same lake, carefully ignoring one another.


In most places, they'd just call this gold-digging.
New Hampshire cops arrested a man and woman after the man called to complain that he'd paid the woman for sex but she refused to go through with it.
Both the 22-year-old woman and 32-year-old man were hit with charges related to prostitution.


She caught him sleeping for eternity with another woman.
A widow in St. Petersburg, Fla., is suing a cemetery after she went to visit her husband's grave adjoining her own plot and found another occupant with him.
Lucille Rembert said she started to cry. "I said, 'Oh no, not again,' " she told The St. Petersburg Times.
The same thing happened in 1995.


It was love that moved him -- and his livestock.
Dick Kleis, a farmer in Zwingle, Iowa, used more than 120,000 pounds of manure to spell out a special message to his wife, Carole: "Happy birthday. I love you."
For anyone with a large field and a desire to create a similarly sentimental greeting, he has this advice: "Any manure will work. But the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff works the best."


This is what divorce "This Old House"-style looks like.
A woman in Washington state whose husband was leaving her got back at him by allegedly rewiring his power tools to deliver a powerful electric shock when he used them.
She was arrested after he was knocked to the ground while using a 220-volt table saw.


Think your family's bad?
A Sicilian man went to a police station to ask that he be arrested -- because he didn't want to spend New Years Eve with relatives. Cops declined, because he hadn't committed a crime.
So he went to a nearby store and stole some candy and chewing gum. This time, he got his wish.


It's not the starch that makes these sheets stiff.
A Spanish inventor has infused bedsheets with Viagra so randy rompers can absorb the sex-enhancing drug through their skin rather than popping a pill.
"It started as a joke after we saw a study that said businessmen get little sex because they are too tired from work," said sheet maker Pep Torres.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Rest of the World

Some days in New York are very exciting. Traffic is jammed, there's some kind of dignitary visiting, a worldwide protest of something is going on at the U.N., or there's a huge sporting event. It's what makes living in the city fun, interesting, and sometimes overwhelming.

I grew up in a suburb in South Carolina. Not much went on there and I was really anxious to get out and explore the world. Since then, I haven't exactly done a world tour, but I've lived in or near several big cities: Atlanta, Philadelphia, Baltimore, DC, and of course, New York. Each has its own unique charm and benefits, as well as drawbacks. As a father, I recall always wanting to raise a family close to a large city for the cultural benefits as well as the world prospective it would provide my children. Granted, New York is a lot bigger, faster, and more expensive than anywhere I would have chosen to settle down, but it is home and I'm feeling mostly comfortable now.

I guess I'm thinking of this because of the recent Facebook contact I've had with old high school friends. A few of them, like me, got out and explored the world not turn. A few left for a while but returned to raise families. Most stayed and haven't lived anywhere else. While that's a nice thing for them (erg. stability, roots in the same place, predictability, etc.) I find it somewhat limiting in scope. As I've talked to some of them, they are amazed at things that I now take for granted: living in a high rise apartment building; not owning or needing a car; the sheer volume of people; or the ethnic diversity.

I want my little one to grow up with a "world view," primarily because when I got to college, I realized how small the world had been for me the 18 years prior. Most of the kids I went to college with were from the DC area. They knew a ton about politics, economics, different cultures, and the arts. I felt really behind. Miss M, growing up in NYC, obviously isn't going tho have that problem, but she will be missing out on how most of the rest of the country lives.

NYC is so unique in it's every day experience and I've noticed people who grow up here (Manhattan specifically) are just a bit "off." They're almost afraid of the rest of the country. Seems strange right? That's not how I want Miss M to be. I've been doing my best to show her "Normal America" by visiting my parents and sister in SC but there has to be more.

I think attitudes and values start at home. There are a plethora of things to do here with my little one and exposing her to all of it I feel is really important. I want her to be a well rounded person who feels comfortable in any situation, in any place. Traveling to other places, experiencing other people and cultures, and teaching acceptance of those "different" seems the way to go.

So parents, how do you teach your little ones about the rest of the world, especially on a limited single parent budget? How do we show our kids the world, teach them about others different than them, and make sure they are well rounded enough to make informed decisions about their own path in life? My question for the day...