I'm On a Roll

My luck with the ladies away from the Internet dating thing is looking up! Now, I've had enough of these positive times (WAY in the past) to know that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. Still, ride the way while you're up, right?

CP (the CVS girl) and I have yet to get together. We keep trying but with her work schedule and my schedule with Miss M, it's tough. Still, we're working on it and hopefully will happen later this week.

Last Wed, Thurs, and Friday I took off from work so that M and I could go to the beach with a buddy and his son Gabriel. Gabriel is Miss M's "boyfriend" (she's started early). They live in our building and most weeknights when M is there we get the kids together for a post dinner play date. Have to admit, that's another advantage of the big city...play dates without even leaving the house. G's parents are still together and have a 1 year old daughter as well who's cute as a button.

Anyhow, Brian, G, M, and I went to the beach house they have for a couple days just to goof off and let the kids have some time together. As we drove down on Wednesday though, it was pouring rain, so we were a bit perplexed as to what to do. Just going to the house could be ok, but we figured since it was mid week, maybe a trip to the arcade might be fun. Simple stuff like ski ball, the claw grabber things (to pick up the stuffed animals), and other easy games. I have a strange talent for the claw grabber things...not sure why but I ALWAYS win at least a couple of times (this time...6 stuffed animals in less than an hour). So M was really excited and shrieking with joy at her new toys.

The place was pretty empty except for one group of people who seemed to be grandparents, a dad and mom with son, and what appeared to be a very attractive single mom and her daughter. The SM was playing one of the claw grabby games with her little girl when M ran up the machine next to them. I walked up next to them and looked...BEAUTIFUL. Not just pretty but totally stunning, and NO ring. Sweet!

I started playing the game as they watched and of course M started talking to the little girl. Love that about 3 year olds. Don't even remember what I said but we exchanged a couple words and as it turns out, SM is painfully shy! It was cute though. Anyhow, I tried a couple times for a Big Bird animal that I couldn't quite get and during which time SM and the girl went to play another game. Her parents were next to us watching the whole time though, and chatted with M a bit. M and I then went to another machine and proceeded to win a purple stuffed bear when SM came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "here, my dad won this and we thought your daughter would like to have it." It was the Big Bird! I thanked her profusely and again tried to strike up conversation but she seemed very nervous and scooted away with her little girl.

A couple minutes later I saw her Dad so I thanked him and he smirked and said "Dude, I was trying for you." He was TOTALLY trying to set me up with his daughter!!! How funny is that? At this point I figured screw it, I need to talk to her so we just played games in her proximity until I got the chance to corner her. Once she got talking she was very sweet. Turns out she lives just outside Manhattan (only about 20 minutes away). We exchanged numbers and have talked 3 times since and our first date is planned for this Thursday.

No idea where this one is going of course but this woman seems to be totally my type...sweet, not cocky, not affected by New York (huge problem in Manhattan), very into her family who live only 20 minutes from her, and is a nurse (practically every woman in my family is a nurse so I have a soft spot for them. She's in her mid thirties, which is a bit more age appropriate than CP, and as it turns the little girl she was with is her niece, so no kids. Neither here nor there I guess.

I would say luck of the Irish except I'm full Italian. Anyhow, I'm liking the non-Internet dating thing and having fun talking to relative strangers. We'll keep you posted on this one as well.

You Can Get More Than Prescriptions at CVS

So, part two of week one of BCD's dating exploits. After my date with Russian Girl, I decided to walk home (about 30 blocks). It was about midnight and I was still pretty awake. As I walked by a CVS, I remembered I needed to pick up a few things. Here's the benefit of living in the city that never sleeps...CVS is 24/7.

As I'm wandering around the store picking up various things, I turn the corner and see a beautiful pair of legs attached to a very pretty brunette (see, I like non blonds ;). She turned to look at something so I got a clear view of what is a very pretty face, although a bit on the young side for an old guy like me...probably mid to late 20's. The opportunity just didn't seem right for me to say anything then because we hadn't even made eye contact. What am I going to say..."hey baby, like that conditioner?" I was feeling pretty bold though, so while I picked up my items I kept an eye on where she was in the store.

Eventually I was done and noticed she was just making her way to the check out. I had two options...1) the empty check out next to hers or 2) I could plant myself in line right behind her. I chose option two. Now, why she was in CVS buying a bunch of Vitamin Water and Gatorade at midnight on a Friday I have NO idea, but it certainly struck me as funny. As the check out girl was doing her job, she needed some help grabbing Cutie Pie's things (that's what we're going to call her for now, or CP for short). I ever so GRACIOUSLY reached out and pushed them toward check out girl. CP shyly looked at me and said thanks. Feeling smarmy, I simply smiled and replied " You're welcome. You must be thirsty." THAT'S IT. She giggled and we exchanged a couple sentences about nothing I remember, and then...SHE LEFT.

Grrr...I waited for check out girl to finish, (to her credit she was quick. She TOTALLY knew what was going on) and I thought "F this, I want to talk to her." So I ran out of the store and chased CP down, who was by now a block away, going in completely the OPPOSITE direction that I needed to be going. When I caught up to her, I simply said "Excuse me, you seemed really nice back there and I have to confess, I planted myself behind you in line because I saw you in the store and think you're very pretty. Have a minute to talk to a complete stranger on the street?" She blushed and was very cute about it.

We talked for a couple blocks and as we got toward where she was going, I asked for her number to see if we could meet for a drink later. She then said something that I thought was very cool, "Well," she said with a smirk on her face, "I have one block before I'm at my building. Convince me before I hit my door that I should go out with you"

NICE!!! It may sound cocky but to me, that meant I was practically in and just needed to not fumble. I don't recall what I said but the crux of it was...I'm not from NYC, I'm a well mannered Southern Boy. No big ego, good manners, and I'll always open doors and pull out your chair for you. She LOVED it.

I've since called and we've exchanged some very cute texts. Problem is I have a busy week so I can't meet her until next week. Regardless though, I'm just proud of making the effort and having the courage for the cold walk up. Haven't done that in YEARS.

I'll let you know how it goes.

And the Internet Dating Begins...

Not my favorite way to get back on the market for sure, but I figured this will at least get me out there and give me a chance to practice some of the small talk. If you remember, I went right from Ex wife to Hot Girl, who I knew from a previous job. I haven't had a "cold" date in something like 9 years! Scary when I think about it.

So, I signed up for a couple of free sites, put up the minimum profile, and started fishing. There are always thousands of pretty, accomplished, seemingly nice women on these sites. Problem is, there are always WAY more men than women so the hit ratio for guys is pretty low. After a week or so I was talking to a few different women (after a ton of unanswered emails) and lined up a couple dates for this weekend.

Let me say first, that I don't live in fantasy land. I'm 42 with a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I fully realize that the 26 year old lingerie models aren't going to be beating down my door, or even worth my time writing. Of course, like any bonehead guy, I'll lob an occasional email to one of those but it never works out. So, given that ideally I want more kids of my own, I figured early to mid 30's (with or without kids already) is probably my best bet. I also prefer divorced vs never married. Sure I could be totally wrong but at least I know then that she has tried it once.

Now, usually a 2 date weekend isn't in the cards for me. I have a good group of buddies, some single some not, that I hang with on Fridays. Something easy like grabbing a bite, catching a movie or sporting event, or just hanging out. Problem this weekend was that ALL of them were out of town. So I lined up a date Friday night and another for brunch on Saturday.

Friday night was Russian Girl. She's 38, divorced, and a nurse. All good things right. No kids though. She was nice enough on the phone, was attractive, and seemed eager to meet. Of course, when she showed up she was probably 30 lbs heavier than her picture. Not that I'm against a little meat on the bones...I prefer that to a stick skinny woman, but why not just be honest? So I was already skeptical. During dinner she proceeded to talk about her bad divorce, bad last relationship, and her friend who is divorced with three kids who never dates because the kids rule her life. That woman sounds like more my type. She then proceeded to ask me where I was taking her on vacation...HUH? I didn't talk much except about Miss M, and once RG realized that I wasn't one of those Wednesday and every other weekend Dad's who has a ton of time to date, she said a very insightful thing: " You're going to have a hard time finding a woman who's willing to play second to your daughter and to work around your schedule. You should date single mom's since they'll understand better and be more flexible." Couldn't agree more. So, overall the date kind of sucked but at least she was up front about what she did and didn't want (picture thing aside) and we parted ways nicely, agreeing we'd never see each other again.

Date #2: Beautiful Latina woman from Westchester...32, never married, no kids. Had a bad feeling on this one right out of the gate but figured it's just brunch so no big deal. I had a lot to do that morning so I was running a couple minutes late. Probably should have called but figured I was only a few blocks away, people in Manhattan are ALWAYS late, and it was only 3 minutes, literally. I'm a block away and for some reason checked my phone and saw 3 missed calls from BL. Not checking them I called her right away. She picked up and angrily said "Are you standing me up?" HUH? I replied calmly no, that I was a running a bit late, apologized, said it was only 1:04 now, we were supposed to meet at 1:00, and I was 30 seconds away. "Well, I left." she says in a huff. Too weird. Figured she was only a block or two away so I told her to come on back and we'll start over. Ok she says.

I then waited 25 minutes and she never showed, so I went home. Thirty minutes later she calls me again. I didn't pick up and checked the message afterward. She actually went back to the restaurant after I left, got angry that I stood her up a second time, and left me a scathing message to never call her again!!! Don't think that will be a problem.

Geez, this is what I have to look forward to? There's gotta be a better way.

Weekend success was, however, that I randomly met a very cute woman (in CVS no less) after my date Friday night. TOTAL cold pick up which I NEVER do. For that story though, you'll have to log in tomorrow... :)

Hi Everyone

Wow has it been a long time. Sorry for the no show, but I was feeling really unmotivated to write and stretched a bit thin by work, M, the relationship with HG, and searching for a new apartment. Guess I just needed a mental break from it all. Kind of going into the Man Cave to shut down and regroup.

So, I figured it best to give you some bullet points on where things are with M and me so that everyone is up to date.

M (the most important subject) - She's doing fantastic. Her vocabulary is expanding by the day and her curiosity about the differences between men and women continues to grow. The other day she decided she wanted a penis. So in the middle of our crowded lobby she asked "Daddy, can we go the penis store and buy one? I want a penis." The old ladies in the lobby didn't seem amused. TOO BAD. We have tons of summer plans including the beach with friends, beach with family, Disney World in July, and some trips to the mountains. Should be a fun summer but I'm sure it's going to fly by.

M's Mother - We may have finally hit the amiable state. While finances will always be somewhat of an issue, she's actually been a bit forgiving there lately and we haven't had a serious fight in weeks. We've been able to pull of a couple switches in nights without a problem and haven't taken any pot shots at each other. While I'm going to have a hard time every really trusting her, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this to continue. It can only be good for M.

Hot Girl and I Are No Longer - BCD is back on the market. HG and I were communicating a lot better and getting along but ultimately the problems I talked about earlier were just too great to overcome. While in theory she was OK living the life of a "normal" person, ultimately she wasn't comfortable with anything but a high end lifestyle, which is not how I want to be or to raise M. To me, having money is a good thing (of course) but choosing to buy or do expensive things just because they are "exclusive" or expensive just doesn't fit my value system. The split was amicable though. Now the trick is to find a woman in NYC whose value system fits this. Seems easy right? You have no idea how hard that is here. NYC really F's people up. Wish me luck. Going to try the online thing to start but ultimately I think through friends is the way to go.

New Apartment - I struggled with this one because I don't want to stretch myself financially, but given some of the concessions M's mother has made, my alimony payments are done (WAHOO!!!), and that M is outgrowing her tiny little room (only 8 x 8), I wanted to find a place bigger where she can have her own space. After and exhaustive search and several "just missed" opportunities, we settled on a place just two blocks away. You have no idea how competitive the rental market in NYC is. You have to practically show up with your entire financial picture and check in hand and take a place as soon as you see it if you like it because if you don't, the next person will. We're spending a little more than I want but to keep M in the same neighborhood, to give her a nice big room, and honestly being too tired to keep looking, I'm cool with what we found. Moving sometime in July.

So kiddies, those are the highlights. I'll try to be more regular both with checking up on everyone else as well as my own posting. As This Daddy said after my last hiatus, I have a duty to keep everyone informed. Enjoy the day everyone!

Funny Little Girl-isms

M LOVES stuffed animals, kitties and doggies especially. Practically every week she gets a new one from her mother or me. Not that we're trying to spoil her or anything. It just that she loves them and honestly, they aren't that expensive. For $10 a week, M having a new friend is fine with me.

Her current favorite at Daddy's House is a orange striped tabby similar to the one in the picture named Tigger. The real Tigger is actually my mother's cat. Orange body, white tummy, face and paws, and HUGE. Not just big, HUGE. Tigger weighs upwards of 30 lbs and is the most docile, sweet cat I've ever been around. He spends most of his days on my parents' bed sleeping (great life, right?) and is M's absolute favorite animal in the whole world. When we visit my parents, M plays with Tigger the entire time: that is, she lies on him, puts hats on him, feeds him with her hand, and follows him everywhere. The little guy is a great sport about it.

Her stuffed Tigger looks almost the same. He's SO fat that his head is 10 sizes too small for his body. M likes to pretend that he's the real Tigger. Even better, when we Skype my parents on a weekly basis, she makes them bring the real Tigger to the camera so she can talk to him and shows him her play Tigger. Adorable.

Last week, M's Mommy bought her a stuffed doggie. Pretty non descript doggie really but cute. We've gotten to the point where the animals travel back and forth between houses and as we collect more, the bag to carry them gets bigger and bigger. And there's no end in sight :)

So I asked M what her new doggies name was and she answered...

"Loophole!!!"

WTF?

No idea where that came from. Somehow appropriate though given it was a gift from her mother.

This weekend's new addition was a sea lion from the Bronx Zoo (a DEFINITE must see for those visiting NYC with kids. Phenomenal). The sea lion's name...Four. Again, huh?

Funny thing is that when M goes to bed, we must have 10 different stuffed animals in her bed, and some of them are bigger than her! When I go in to check on her, I sometimes have to dig her out from under the pile. Too funny.

Today's Little Girl Observation

I have lunch with Miss M every Tuesday without fail. It's a nice time for us to get together since I haven't seen her since either Sunday night or Monday morning, depending on the week. Usually we go to Johnny Rockets, a 50's style burger chain only a couple blocks from her school. We have our regular seat, a big couch with a coffee table right in front of a flat screen TV that plays ESPN all day long. SCORE for Daddy! She loves it because she can run around as much as she wants, she gets fries (her favorite), they give her crayons and paper, and we always have the same nice waitress who takes care of us (Brianna). JR's has become our Tuesday spot.

Catch up conversation is the order of the day since she'll have been at her Mommy's for 24 - 36 hours at that point. She tells me about play dates, any fun games she's played with her Mommy, what stuffed animals are talking to her, or anything else that comes to mind. Today she was particularly excited to tell me about a show her mother took her to Easter Sunday: a live Nickelodeon presentation of Dora the Explorer, Kai-Lan, and Backyardigans. I learned all about what each of them did and where they live ("Boots the monkey lives in a tree! He's a nice boy! " : )

Cutie.

Afterward, I take her back to her mother's which is also close, just a 4 block walk. It gives us time to talk more, pet doggies, point out which trucks are silly (today we saw a truck with pictures of ice cream, popsicles, and lollipops on the side!) and just to chat more.

Today's conversation was particularly fun:

"Daddy! Look! It's a booooger!" she shrieks proudly showing me her index finger. Keep in mind I'm carrying her at the point. NICE

"That very good baby. Flick your finger so it goes on the sidewalk"

"Ok Daddy!" trying very hard but not successfully. "It's stuck" squenchy face.

"Try again baby"

"I put it here" she says...and wipes it...on the shoulder of my shirt. EWWWW.

"Uh, baby, I'd rather you didn't put it there. Can you take it off please and put throw it on the ground? We don't put our boogers on people. We get rid of those by blowing our nose into Kleenex"

"It's a present for you!" she says proudly. "You take it back to Daddy's House!"

"And just where would I put it Sweet Pea?"

"You put it in Daddy's chair!"

"Oh, and then what would I do with it?"

"You look at it! Silly Daddy."

Ah, the joys of parenting :)

OMG!!! Talk About Uncomfortable!

You know, not much makes me uncomfortable when it comes to discussing the human condition. I grew up in a somewhat conservative Catholic home where things like sex just weren't discussed out in the open. My parents did talk to us about it, but it was never in the forefront and was one of those things that was to be discussed "not around other people." That's ok. Given how, where, and when they grew up, I get it and it was totally fine.

As I've gotten older and exposed to more life, my views have gotten more liberal, especially when it comes to sex. Not that I think a person shouldn't respect themselves and others in their sexual behaviors, but just in that sexual discussions and sexual preferences are nothing to be ashamed of. I fully expect to have these discussions with my daughter when she's older and actually look forward to it.

I just didn't expect to have one this weekend...

Miss M is a little over three. She's in the wonderful phase of physical self discovery. She's fully potty trained but still needs a little help wiping, pulling up her pants, etc, so when she goes potty, I usually stand in the doorway in case she needs me. She's very independent, so usually it's "Daddy, you stay there!" while she goes.

Last night as she was doing her last potty before she went to bed, she decided to have a closer look...down there. Totally cool, she does that occasionally, but this time, she REALLY went for it. Pulling both sides of her little self apart, she bent over to have a close look. Even I had a tough time not pulling an uncomfortable face!

After a short inspection of the "magic girl spot" she looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, what's that?"

Running through possibilities of what to call it (thinking the clinical name just wasn't appropriate for right now), I opted for "Well, baby, those are your special girlie parts."

"Special girlie parts?" she said inquisitively, tilting her head to the side while still exposing herself in all her glory.

"You want to touch it Daddy?"

Ok, THAT one I wasn't expecting. Even Daddy is uncomfortable now. Composing myself I say,

"No thank you honey. That's yours. No one else should touch it but you."

"Ok Daddy. I like to play with it." OH MY GOD!

Daddy takes a deep breath and says,

"Ok baby. It's yours to play with. Just make sure when you do, you're by yourself, ok?"

"Ok Daddy."

And just like that, we've had our first sex talk. Is it SUPPOSED to happen this early? Wow...