Monday, March 29, 2010

OMG!!! Talk About Uncomfortable!

You know, not much makes me uncomfortable when it comes to discussing the human condition. I grew up in a somewhat conservative Catholic home where things like sex just weren't discussed out in the open. My parents did talk to us about it, but it was never in the forefront and was one of those things that was to be discussed "not around other people." That's ok. Given how, where, and when they grew up, I get it and it was totally fine.

As I've gotten older and exposed to more life, my views have gotten more liberal, especially when it comes to sex. Not that I think a person shouldn't respect themselves and others in their sexual behaviors, but just in that sexual discussions and sexual preferences are nothing to be ashamed of. I fully expect to have these discussions with my daughter when she's older and actually look forward to it.

I just didn't expect to have one this weekend...

Miss M is a little over three. She's in the wonderful phase of physical self discovery. She's fully potty trained but still needs a little help wiping, pulling up her pants, etc, so when she goes potty, I usually stand in the doorway in case she needs me. She's very independent, so usually it's "Daddy, you stay there!" while she goes.

Last night as she was doing her last potty before she went to bed, she decided to have a closer look...down there. Totally cool, she does that occasionally, but this time, she REALLY went for it. Pulling both sides of her little self apart, she bent over to have a close look. Even I had a tough time not pulling an uncomfortable face!

After a short inspection of the "magic girl spot" she looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, what's that?"

Running through possibilities of what to call it (thinking the clinical name just wasn't appropriate for right now), I opted for "Well, baby, those are your special girlie parts."

"Special girlie parts?" she said inquisitively, tilting her head to the side while still exposing herself in all her glory.

"You want to touch it Daddy?"

Ok, THAT one I wasn't expecting. Even Daddy is uncomfortable now. Composing myself I say,

"No thank you honey. That's yours. No one else should touch it but you."

"Ok Daddy. I like to play with it." OH MY GOD!

Daddy takes a deep breath and says,

"Ok baby. It's yours to play with. Just make sure when you do, you're by yourself, ok?"

"Ok Daddy."

And just like that, we've had our first sex talk. Is it SUPPOSED to happen this early? Wow...


MommyLovesStilettos said...

Oh my. You handled that well!! I would freak out!

Senorita said...

Hahahahaha ! ROTFLMAO !!!!

Sorry, that is hilarious ! I feel so bad for you as a father, that must have been AWKWARD !!!

But you handled it so well.

So inquisitive, that little girl. Just wait until she starts liking boys.

dadshouse said...

You rock! What a moment. You handled it well.

T said...

Oh honey! You handled that VERY well. I have two daughters who are very comfortable with their special girly parts as well. My older daughter began really early too. And I had to talk to her about making sure her hands were clean when she did it. Also to keep it to herself. (She had a habit of doing it while watching TV at other friends' houses. Yikes.) I also wrote a blog post about another uncomfortable moment here.

I can handle it because I'm a girl too. And an early discoverer. But as a dad? I applaud you!

*clap clap clap clap*

Very nice!

Brittany said...

:) Good job daddy! ha ha ha ha! I almost snorted out my drink!

You are pretty much the coolest daddy ever!

MindyMom said...

OMG is right! I can only imagine how awkward that moment would be for a father. You handled it very well though.

One of my four daughters was an "early learner" and I had to do the same thing; teach her that although it's ok she needs to do it in private. And she was even younger than 3!

Sarah said...

You were awesome! I don't know what I would have said!! Good job! And...really cute of Miss M :)

Momma Sunshine said...


Love it!!

Both of my girls became VERY interested in their genitals after they became diaper-less. Their dad and I always just did our best to answer their questions and not make a big deal of it. We always told them things similiar to what you did - that it's private and no one should touch it but them, and that touching it was fine, it just needed to be alone when they did.

The funniest thing happened when my oldest was about three. She climbed in behind the couch one day and was being VERY quiet. I asked her what she was doing. She answered in a very matter-of-fact manner, "I'm touching my vagina".


In any case, I think it's best to approach "the sex talk" in small bits and pieces as questions are asked. I remember having one single, big "sex talk" with my mom when I was about 9. It was awful, and I was horrified by it! I think if we can keep an open dialogue with our kids (even though it's hard sometimes) that's the best way to do it.

Sounds like you handled things well, despite being unprepared. Good for you!

Jennifer said...

ROFLMAO! You did good. You can't go wrong with the basics.

I think I had a very similar conversation with my son who recently potty trained. I was a little taken aback too, after I tried to hide the laughter when informed it was like a toy that grows. LOL

Danielle said...

My daughter does that all the time and she isn't 3 yet. I try to ignor it unless she asks questions. Then I do exactly what you did. Tell the truth and move on.
You did great!!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

Well city dad just know that it is normal for little girls to touch themselves and I think you did it in the best possible way. I used science and animals to gradually introduce my son to sexual body parts and explanations of of testicles and penis. I figure if you show them about animal life then it isn't so weird for is more natural. My mother didn't tell me anything...and I remember my high school boyfriend telling me how mortified he was when he awoke from a wet dream...I'm a nurse so my son expect weird stuff to come flying out of my mouth, but when he was 9 he started asking me why his penis went straight? It went straight ahhh he is so clever...I told him it is to bring blood and oxygen to keep it healthy and that when he gets older he might have something come out but that it wasn't pee...and he replys...Oh that is what that is...I thought I was peeing the bed...yeah...9 yrs old....I'm telling you animal planet can teach alot...

This Daddy said...

Holy shit man. I would have run into the other room and threw my wife across the house and then gone back and started punching myself in the face until I bled to death.

You handled it much better. Nice Job

Anonymous said...

I just about died laughing at This Daddy's answer!!

BigLittleWolf said...

OMG indeed.

I think you did splendidly. (And it will only get more interesting from here.)

Paula said...

Hey, it happens. One of my friends recently regaled me w/ the story of her daughter wanting a mirror so she could "really look at her peepee a lot."

My two year old daughter, who is potty training, told me, "I'm wipin' my 'gina! It feels super good!"

Boys have their junk right out there and flop it around all the time. It's so much better for girls to be raised to be ok with their bodies too...because society in general is pretty happy to knock that confidence right out of them.

Amira said...

Wow. Well, that was awkward.

Seriously, you really did extremely well. You're a GOOD dad. And oh the anecdotes you have to come yet...

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